Having observed the pickup community for some time now, I’ve noticed that most guys actually have a very good logical understanding of how an interaction with a girl should go. With all the information, coaching, and live infield on the internet, guys have a pretty good picture of how you should open a girl, how you should hook, escalate, lead, pull, etc, yet often times when guys step to a girl and apply these different steps that coaches have talked about and demonstrated the overall vibe is off and the girls don’t seem to respond as well compared to when the coach does it. This is in large part due to the fact that the guy has not taken an emotional inventory of his feelings when executing the concept or tactic at hand.
To really soar to the top in game you have to break down not only what line, tactic, or concept you did, but how you felt when you did it, and furthermore, you have to ask yourself “Is the feeling that I experienced when doing this particular concept congruent with the concept itself.”
Take leading for example. Lets say a guy grabs a girl by the hand and leads her towards the opposite end of a bar. Such an action would imply that the guy doing it is comfortable and confident. However, if the guy grabbing the girl by the hand and leading her across the bar is feeling nervous and uneasy while doing it then there is a mismatch, which will be naturally externalized through the guys body language, facial expressions, and vocal tonality among other things. When he says “come bar” his voice will waver. If he makes it as far as grabbing her by the hand and leading, his hand will be shaking the whole time. The girl feeling this will most likely stop in her tracks, unlink hands with him, and return to wherever she was that the guy tried to pull her from.
Compare this to the guy that executes the same concept but with a feeling of entitlement and feeling like he’s the shit and if this girl doesn’t come with it’s her loss. When he says “come bar,” most likely he will say it in a naturally firm breaking rapport tonality. When he go’s to grab the girl by the hand and lead her it will be a firm and decisive yet relaxed grab and his hands will not be shaking. The girls being that they’re able to pick up on these subtleties will respond better to the latter guy I just described.
There is more or less a correct set of emotions or feelings that correspond to each game tactic or concept and cultivating the understanding and intuition to have the right feeling at the right time makes a world of difference. This is in large part why guys at a beginner and intermediate level struggle when they’re in set with a girl having to push and fight there way forward whereas advanced/ elite guys seem to just roll up on a girl and have her attracted and down for whatever without hardly doing or saying anything.
As you continue to take action and apply different concepts put a lot of attention and emphasis on how you feel internally when you interact with women. Particularly pay attention to how you feel when an interaction with a girl go’s really well say you pull and have sex with her. Reflect on that interaction and think about the vibe and the emotions involved. You don’t even have to be able to articulate the feelings into words, just put a mental pin in the feelings that you felt that brought about the good result and over time as you have more successes you should start to notice a pattern of the same feelings turning up when an interaction go’s really well thus reinforcing the right emotions and developing a sort of emotional memory and ultimately internalizing the concepts and principals at hand in the interaction.